In Lover's Memory
by Dilloria Jeager
Summary: Jean was asked to leave his dead love and move on yet his new interest is one that even surprised him. Yet, will he love him back or is there someone else?
1. Love must be let go

Even after his death, Jean continued to see Marco in his dreams. Sometimes they were nightmares; he would see exactly how Marco had died and witnessed the death of his only good… friend. Other times, Marco talked to him and happy memories filled his brain. The last happy memory was that of himself confessing to Marco and seeing him smile softly at him. That was also the last time Jean saw Marco smile before the incident. He never did get a true response to his feelings from Marco to the point where he had created many scenarios, most of them having Marco accept his feelings but dying right in front of his eyes. Some of the worst ones got mixed with the nightmares that had him crying in silence.

The day had come and gone with only the news of Eren being a titan. No one saw this coming, but since Eren had ultimately beaten him, yeah, he saw it. Jean climbed into bed, tired as usual and tried going to sleep once more.

* * *

Jean saw himself in bed sitting across from Marco. Though he had a sad look on his face, there seemed to be something joyful about having him there. Jean had the urge to speak but was interrupted by Marco.

" Hey Jean," Marco stated.

" Marco, why did you leave me? You told me you would stay with me," cried Jean.

" I know but life can be rude to those that don't have much to their own lives," said Marco with a tender smile.

"But…but… you were amazing in everything. At least, to me you were," said Jean, holding his hands toward his eyes, trying so hard to contain the tears that threaten to spill.

" Yet, you were better than me Jean. That's why I died and you lived, though I would have liked to live a bit longer at your side," he chuckled as he continued to speak, " I'm lucky enough to receive the time I'm having with you."

After Marco had spoken this, Jean realized that this moment would be the last time he would ever see Marco whole and alive. He then proceeded to ask the question that he had asked so long ago.

" Marco, what do you think of me," he asked.

" Jean, had I still been alive… I would have loved to be with you as your partner but as you can see I'm not anymore. So for me, please move on with you life, I can't bare to see you sad because of me," Marco replied.

" Why are you asking me of this?"

"Jean, listen to me. You know that I am already dead and you have cried enough for me. Just move on, that's the one thing you can do to make me happy."

"But…"

Jean thought about how he could forget Marco but he couldn't. He cared too much for the freckled boy to leave his memory in the past. Yet… Marco was here, in his dreams, asking, no not asking but pleading him to move on as his last wish for Jean. He kept thinking and thinking on whether to move on or not. After what seemed like half an hour, Jean had come to a decision on what to do.

"Okay, if that's what you want, then I… I will move on as my last promise to you," he stated.

Marco looked as if he was going to cry and Jean began to open his mouth to change his mind but Marco stopped him.

"Thank you, Jean."

* * *

The last time he saw Marco continued to leave bittersweet feelings as the months went by. He joined Levi's Scouting Legion along with the rest of his friends, and even got colder to Mikasa. When he first saw her, he couldn't help but be infatuated; she was highly skilled a fighting titans and was extremely pretty. They got along as much as they could (considering her weird brother complex) and then there was Eren. Eren was starting to be seen in a different light to Jean.

And he hated it. Ever since training, both Eren and Jean had despised each other to no ends. Though as of late, Eren had some habits to linger on Levi's form to which Jean noticed. This is what he hated about himself, watching Eren for no reason and seeing the small details that no one else saw.

Levi was instructing his squad to do some trust exercises; something that Hanji suggested after seeing the "bonds" they had. Levi, who thought it was an incredibly stupid suggestion, eventually gave in after a certain rumor about him constantly measuring himself, may or may not be spread amongst his peers. Of course it wasn't 100% true, but Hanji had evidence to prove other wise.

That's how Eren and Jean got to be partners during these exercises. Everyone was paired up with those that weren't getting along with or just didn't know enough. Annie was with Sasha, Connie with Ymir, Reiner with Christa, and even with Mikasa with Levi. Hanji stood near the front of the field, content with her ships partner pairings, and started the exercises.

The first involved prolonged eye contact whilst holding hands.

" It's a simple ice breaker!" Hanji yelled," I'm not asking you guys to get married or anything…"

"Yeah but you wish they were," a voice whispered.

"HEY, WHO SAID THAT?!" Hanji narrowed her eyes and scanned the field. "Just do it guys! It's either this or you're all gonna be responsible for cleaning the stables. Or worse. Forced conversation with Oulou!"

An "I HEARD THAT" could be heard in the distance, followed by the groans and complaints from Levi's squad.

"Ugh, how did I get stuck with you?" Eren said with disgust.

"Blame Hanji, she's the one who put us together," Jean replied with equal disgust.

"Let's just get this over with. I'd rather not be touching you more than is needed," Eren said.

Eren and Jean were just as bothered as everyone else in the field, yet slowly; they got 'okay' with each other. As time went by, each pair softly changed for they got used to each other except Mikasa and Levi. To them, this was a stupid idea for nothing could ever get them to be 'okay' with each other. While that was going on, Jean noticed even smaller details about Eren. He saw that Eren's eyes changed color when reflected by light, turning to a light hazel but when he moved, it would change to a greenish color. Another thing was his face. Eren had a very boyish face to most but to Jean, it seemed a bit round, like a girl's face, almost soft-looking. His eyes trailed away from Eren's face to his chest, to which anyone could see a small bit of skin peeking out from the shirt.

"OI, my eyes are up here, horse face."

"Why the hell do you care, Eren? The only ones that would care are girls with huge chests and you aren't one…or are you?" Jean retorted.

"You better shut it before I kick it in and make your horse face look even less humane," Eren growled with bitterness.

" Ya know Eren, why do you hate me so much?"

" You made fun of my family and I don't take lightly on that kind of thing."

" So you're a family man, too bad you might not have one."

Eren snapped after that, punching hard into Jean's stomach. Jean had fallen to the ground but not before dragging Eren with him. Each took swings and hits from the other, trying to make as much contact to the face.

" ENOUGH! KNOCK IT OFF, YOU FUCKING BRATS," Levi yelled.

Both Eren and Jean froze, their heartbeats almost matching from the fear of what Levi would do to them for fighting in trust exercise.


	2. Sharing Doesn't Equal Trust

I'M SO SORRY. I meant to get the next chapter out but i kept procrastinating so…..yeah sorry. Okay well here's the next chapter with new insight and development. RATE AND REVIEW. Also, i don't own anything. I wish I did but sadly….

* * *

"Since you two decided to fight in a trust exercise, I have decided to put you in the same room for two weeks," said Levi with a frown on his face.

"But sir-" Jean exclaimed.

"No buts. Now go get your things moved into Eren's room and get out of my sight, you annoying brats."

Jean averted Levi's eyes and turned to leave the room. Stupid Eren and his stupid face and his stupid everything. He slammed the door as he walked out, leaving Eren and Levi together, alone.

Levi shook his head and sighed, sitting down on the couch in the process. Eren continued to stare, silent and not knowing what to do.

"You can leave now, Jaeger."

"Yes, sir."

Eren loosened his stance and headed towards the door. This was now something he had to live with. Since he found out he was a titan and a lot of attention went to him, time went by faster. There was no news of titans in a while and for now, it was peaceful. Only Jean was the boulder in the middle of a narrow road.

There was a knock on the door. A louder knock can as soon as Eren got up to open the door and continued until he turned the knob. He saw Levi come through the door, almost running into the saw his face flushed red and was breathing heavily.

"Um..sir, are you okay." Eren asked.

"Eren," he gasped, "close that door if you want to be able to walk tomorrow. NOW!"

Eren closed the door as fast as he could but somehow tripped on nothing, falling backwards toward Levi. Levi let instinct take over and rushed to Eren. As a result, Levi had fallen along with Eren and cussed out as said boy's elbow had hit him in the rib.

"Shit.. be more fucking careful, you brat," growled Levi, trying to get up.

"Sorry sir," Eren said also trying to get up.

With both trying for the same action, it caused both to fall down but in a more awkward position. It ended up with Eren on the bottom and Levi on top with both his arms on the sides of Eren's body to keep himself up.

"Hey Eren, have you seen Levi…." Hanji asked, walking through the door.

Both Levi and Eren turned their heads towards Hanji, who seemed a few seconds before exploding into a fit of happiness.

"I just came here to ask about the futon but," she started, " THIS IS A LOT MORE THAN WHAT I ASKED FOR!"

Panic surged in the hearts of the males on the floor, especially the one on top. They quickly and successfully got out of their strange position.

"Hanji, you didn't see anything." Levi said, a scowl on his face.

"Okay, I saw nothing." she winked at him and went outside the door. "Meanwhile, do you mind helping me with this futon?"

Levi's face turned less red and went to his colleague. Hanji leaned over, quite close to his ear whispering, "Erwin is gonna get really mad when he hears about this."

"If i could punch you, I would," Levi replied, grabbing one end of the futon. While this was happening, Eren sat facing the corner with a dark cloud above him.

* * *

Jean had been wandering for the past hour around the fort-castle-thing, he honestly couldn't tell, thinking about how he had been forced to stay in Eren's room with the boy. 'Why, of all things, did it have to be Eren? Why did I fall for such an idiot.' he thought. In that very moment, Jean realized something about what he thought. He had told himself that he'd fallen for Eren the idiot. With this in mind, Jean fell on a large tree nearby, face flushed with apple red. Holding his hand to his mouth to keep himself from screaming in surprize and frustration. He honestly thought Eren would be the last person in the known world, no not even that. Eren never came to thought of being a possible partner after Marco. After that 'little' realization, Jean began to walk to 'his' room only to see the door open with Hanji in the doorway. He doesn't know what made him do it but he hid in the corner hallway. He saw Hanji move a bit out of the way to see Levi and Eren on the floor with Levi on top of Eren.

He stared at the situation in interest. He felt like someone went ahead and punched him in the gut. But, Hanji was there. And there was no way she caught them in the act of god knows what. Plus, she didn't seem as excited as she would have if anything happened and wait, why are you thinking these thoughts Jean, make them go away. He saw Levi exit the room, exchanging conversation with Hanji, before he left altogether. He made his entrance quietly, only gathering the attention of Hanji who hadn't left just Jean entered the room, he saw Eren getting up from the corner. He didn't seem to notice, however, until Jean loudly placed his things on the ground. Eren turned his head with a snap to face Jean, the asshole that he's been forced to share his room with.

"Ugh, it's you." Eren said.

"Oh shut it. Don't make my week any worse than it already is," Jean retorted.

Both Jean and Eren felt tired and weak after such an eventful day and Jean in particular didn't want to be awake so he could deal with his newfound feelings toward Eren.

Night came faster than both of them anticipated. After dinner, Eren went back first while Jean stayed to talk with Armin for a while. Armin was a bit more jumpy than usual, but Jean didn't seem to notice. This was normal.

It hit curfew and they headed back to their respected rooms. The door was left open when Jean got back; it was weird especially considering Eren's predicament. Thinking nothing of it, he got in and immediately stumbled into the futon

A very smelly and wet futon.

'What the hell', Jean thought. he got up, thankful he hadn't changed yet, and wiped down his hands on his uniform. 'Eww, this is seriously nasty.' Eren was sound asleep on his bed.

"Alright, so this was payback, eh Jaeger ?" Jean whispered, "As if staying here wasn't bad enough."

So, Jean did what he thought would torture him a lot more. He undressed completely, only leaving on his undershorts and climbed into Eren's bed. It was a tight fit but it worked. For the time being he was awake, they faced away from each other. Jean listened to their breathing, he couldn't go to sleep. He turned and faced Eren's back, watching as his side came up and down. Peaceful would be a word for it. He stared and stared and stared, and slowly, he was falling asleep. His eyes began to close, but in that moment, Eren turned and he saw his sleeping face. Jean had no energy left to stay awake though. But it didn't matter, he saw a glimpse and that was enough.

He saw enough beauty for today.


	3. Who's gay for who ?

Eren felt like he had the best sleep he had in several weeks. He started to get up from the bed but couldn't due to weight holding him down. Eren turned his head only to find Jean's drooling face next to him; too shocked to scream, he instead looked down to see that Jean put his arm around Eren's waist, gripping it in a tight hold. As he looked around with the limited movement he had, Eren saw the ruined futon on the floor. Putting two and two together, he figured Jean snuck into the bed since he didn't feel like sleeping in a wet and horrid-smelling futon. Looking back at Jean, Eren realized that Jean was shirtless and he really didn't want to look under the sheets to find something unpleasant. Slowly, Eren moved Jean's arm off his wrist thinking he didn't want to disturb Jean's sleeping.

But to his discontent, Jean only pulled him in tighter, mumbling under his breath. Eren caught a few words from the taller boy, hearing "Well this is harder than I thought. I guess I'll have to…"

To make things even worse, Jean forced Eren onto his side with the backside facing Jean. Eren could feel the morning erection that most boys got around their age press into him. _I have to get out of here, _Eren thought, trying once more to get out of the death trap. He only succeeded in pressing his body more into Jean's, then something went really wrong. Jean began to shift his hands down to Eren's covered length and kneaded it. In his dreams, he was touching Marco, but in reality, that was far from the truth. Eren couldn't do anything; his arms were trapped as Jean moved downward. He could only lay there, his face turning read and his breathing faster and heavier. Jean continued kneading the area, hearing Marco moan in his dreams while Eren's shaft got harder. It even got to the point where Eren gave out moans, to his displeasure. After feeling he had enough of this humiliating event, he elbowed Jean hard in the rib, punching him off the bed in the process.

"Oww, fuck," cried Jean. "What the hell Jaeger?"

Eren rushed out with his clothes, leaving an extremely confused Jean on top of an extremely disgusting futon.

* * *

"Alright everyone! Let's continue with these exercises!" Hanji yelled at the (former) 104th trainee group along with Levi, who scoffed in a chair beside her. "I'll be changing the groups this time since SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T GET ALONG, Jean and Eren, and others DO NOT WANT TO PARTICIPATE, levi." Levi got a clipboard out and started calling out names on the list.

"Aryan coconut, you're with horseface," Levi called. A few laughs came from the crowd, most notably Ymir who couldn't contain herself.

The two paired up and waited for further instructions. Jean noticed that Armin didn't look him in the eye, let alone acknowledge him. Just a few days ago, they had gotten along just fine. Was he scared of getting in trouble?

Armin kept looking at the ground, lost in his thoughts, especially thinking about what Eren told him and Mikasa that morning.

"He was touching me in that area! It was disgusting! I'm telling you man… Why did he even decide to sleep with me? Do you think he swings… that way…?"

At the time, Armin was filled with shock and couldn't keep his head straight. Jean… Gay? Touching Eren? Sure, there was Marco, but it didn't seem like anything went on between the two idiots.

"Hey, Armin. We gotta do the exercise," Jean started, snapping Armin back into reality.

"Oh, right."

Hanji ordered all the pairs to hug for an extended period of time. The exercise was to break the personal boundaries between people and help strengthen bonds. Most had already begun the exercise, but Armin and Jean hadn't started just yet. Both boys had their own reasons for not starting on time. Jean was still a bit upset about the morning with Jaeger while Armin still felt a bit different than normal. Ever since he met Jean back in training, he felt something for the taller man, despite the disputes between his best friend and Jean himself. Armin would sometimes think of him as a kind and attractive gentleman, except when he argued with Eren. Since Marco, however, Armin felt like he would never get a chance with Jean, yet, with what happened this morning, he wasn't so sure.

"Oi, get started unless you want to clean the stables again, you fucking brats!" Levi yelled.

"We're going to, god," Jean murmured. "Alright Armin, come on, let's just get this over with."

"Okay," Armin replied.

The pair walked a bit farther back in the field, sat down and began to hug, as weird as it sounded to the two. Jean suggested that for this exercise, Armin could have his back towards Jean's front and Jean would have his arms around Armin's torso.

"So, how's Eren as a roommate?" Armin tried to break the awkwardness of the situation, clearly by asking all the wrong questions.

Jean paused for a bit before answering. "It's almost like being back in training, but worse considering it's Eren. Sorry Armin, I just don't like him."

"How is that you don't though? In my opinion, you two are a bit similar when it comes to personality." Armin responded.

"I don't see it."

"I do. I think everyone does except you two."

"Tch."

Armin sighed. He grew comfortable, being embraced by Jean. But he wasn't about to admit that out loud. Jean's head rested on Armin's shoulders and if someone didn't know any better, they look like they would be a (really cute) couple.

The afternoon passed and after a few more exercises and some actual training, Jean and Armin headed toward the mess hall talking about rumors going around.

"I'll get you food if you want," Armin suggested, already getting up from the bench.

"Alright, thanks Armin."

Armin nodded in response and left to get food for the both of them. He felt a shove next to him and looked to see Eren giving him a small smirk.

"Did you find out if Jean was…you know…" Eren asked in a low voice.

"What? Gay?"

"Yeah."

An awkward pause followed.

"I didn't realize that's what you wanted me to do."

"Armin please. I'm just too confused from this morning."

"Well at least now you won't have to be since the futon got changed.." responded Armin as he walked towards the line of food. "Now if you excuse me, I have to get food for jean and myself so stop it with the whole, 'who's gay' business."

"Armin, are you…?"

"Am I what Eren? Seriously you need to be more clear," Armin huffed, carrying two trays of food back to the back.

"Are you gay Armin?"

"I – I don't know. I'm more concerned with staying alive at this point. Why do you care?"

"Well, cause you're one of my best friends."

"Stop with the bullshit."

Eren stood, shocked at that Armin had said.

"Well for the love of Sina," Eren mumbled, walking away,

Armin left and avoided further confrontation with Eren for the rest of the night.

* * *

While Eren sat with Mikasa, he found himself glancing at Armin multiple times. He noticed the blond boys' movements and how every so often, he would blush at whatever Jean would say. Then there were points where Jean would be a little too close, or when Armin stared at his face the whole time they talked. It was easy to see why Armin was so defensive; Eren could piece two things together. So what if one of his best friends was gay? Did Armin really think he was that shallow or was it because they didn't have the trust that Eren thought they did? But for the longest time, Eren stared and didn't notice another teen looking back.

* * *

A/N: Hello co-author Ymirz here! Sorry for the lack of regular updates; Dilloria didn't have time to type anything up so she gave me the papers and things, so expect Chapter 4 to be put up sometime this weekend. We're both currently working on Chapter 5 so expect that in two weeks time at most!


End file.
